Wednesday, January 16, 2008
What would you do?
Every time we go out in public with the kids it never fails someone asks their names, usually older people, who think they are cute. J will not put our kids in clothing that has their name on it for safety reasons, and I am in agreement with him. I just don't know what to say in those situations so I usually end up just telling them their name. J told me to make up names, I'm just not that quick, plus, if I tell them their name and then need to get that child's attention and I use their real name it seems weird. It just got me thinking because at Peanut's check up a lady (grandma age) in the waiting room asked how old she was and her name. Then she made the statement, which really rubbed me the wrong way, "You finally got your girl after two boys." I had to fight everything in me not to say, "Actually our oldest is a girl and she is in school right now." I just smiled, instead. What do you do in these situations???
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6 comments:
go with your gut yo! you are a good mama, and although we all make mistakes, i am sure you are a pretty good judge of character. there are some people out there who you shouldn't be afraid to share some info with, it's not like you were handing out your SSN to the lady in the waiting room... telling her you had a fourth kid in school probably wouldn't have been a big deal. and there are some people you just wouldn't say anything to... when it comes to people like that, just use your internet nicknames... you already have them set and are used to using them, just say, "we like to call her peanut (monkey, red, gg...)" smile and get outta there.
use your gut.
I, personally, don't mind sharing my kids' names (first names). I do live in a smaller area, though. The way I look at it is that if someone had evil plans, they would be able to get my child's name just by listening to me (not like I keep from saying their names ever when we are in public.)
As for the older lady's comments....yeah, it gets annoying when people make comments or ask questions concerning my fertility. Like, "are you done having kids yet?" or "when are you having another one" (unless they are close friends, etc.) I think in that case, however, she probably just really wanted to make conversation and didn't know what else to say or maybe was talking from her own experience...still weird though.
I don't really mind the name sharing and Lu is SOOOOO out going that she introduces herself all the time and expects them to reciprocate.
I'm also probably not the best one to ask right now about the "You finally got your girl after two boys." With us having our third girl, I have had to deal with so many people's comments about her not being a boy...it has been hard and to hear another mother say "oh my first two were girls and we were blessed with a boy on the third". I want to say - "EXCUSE ME, but they are all a blessing and having a boy on your third doesn't make you anymore blessed than anyone else" Sorry to be long winded but it has been a touchy spot!
I guess I should say I really don't mind sharing my kids names because I love their names. I think it just really bothered me about the comment of finally getting our girl. If she had been another boy I would love them just the same. All children are a blessing and gift from God. Actually we got a lot of flak when we got pregnant with our third because we already had a girl and a boy why did we need anymore kids. Hmm maybe because I like kids and I wanted more?!?!
I don't really have a problem with telling someone my childrens names. If they ask...I tell them.
For the other matter, I always think of the witty things to say AFTER the fact. I hate it when people say things that catch me off guard. Sometimes I want to say something back that will make them feel stupid about their comment, but I usually end up doing what you do and just smile. I think I need to make a list of comebacks and practice them so that I know what to say.
That was something I didn't really think about, so I'm glad you brought it up. But I think I agree with Corrie, on going with your gut, since you can't really avoid telling people your kids names. I guess it comes down to training your kids to only come to you-and never go to strangers, even if they know their names.
The questioning does get kind of old though... oh well...
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