Thursday, May 13, 2010

Popularity

The other night I was talking to a mom whose son is in Monkey's grade. One of the subjects that came up was popularity. I never given much thought of this since my kids are only in 3rd and 2nd grade but I guess that notion starts that early. One of the things I realized in thinking about this was that this subject to me seems so high schoolish. I feel like the kids don't really care about their popularity as much as their parents. For example, there is a kid at school who is pretty hard to get along with, he kind of has a temper issue along with some other social issues. The mom knows this to be the case with her son so she sets up tons of play dates with kids in the school trying to get people to like him, at least that is the goal I think she has! Monkey has never been in class with him so he has escaped the whole aspect of "let's have our boys play together so he can have friends" issue but I have seen it/heard about it. I actually just met and started talking to the mom this school year through a mutual friend. That is a bit awkward for me, especially since her son kick Monkey in the face the first week of school out on the playground. I just try not to think who her kids are...is that bad? Anyways, I would be lying if I didn't admit I would like my kids to be well liked (popular). But it really got me thinking about what I want my kids to really be...and the main goal isn't popularity. It maybe a by-product of their personalities but I don't want it to be their goal. I want them to put others needs above their own and to be kind to the unlikable. Pretty much I want Christ to shine through their words and actions. They really are good kids and as far as I can tell they have good solid friends at school and at church. All I can do is teach them at home how to care for others and befriend people the rest is up to them.

4 comments:

Adina said...

Your post got me thinking...kindness should be extended even to those who are mean (weather to our kids or to us)...it was Chirst's example.

corrie said...

i thought of you the other day.. we were at a mcd's playplace when this girl went up to miette and smacked her several times in the head for no reason! i mean, miette can't even talk well yet! i was furious! i went over to the girl and told her she needed to be kind and that miette hadn't done anything to her at all! i wasn't going to say anything to her mom, but my 4 year old niece who was with me, saw it happen and was even more furious than me! she walked right over to that mom and let her know her girl was not being kind! but i seemed to remember that happening once to one of your boys, so i thought of ya.

Julie M. said...

Where's the 'LIKE' button?? ;)

sarahgrace said...

I've thought about the popularity issue quite a bit, because it was definitely and issue for me when I was in school, from Kindergarten on really. (Isn't that terrrible!?) I do want my kids to be totally comfortable with who they are and not feel like they have to change themselves to fit in or to be liked... it's hard. I'm sure it will be a case by case thing, and I liked what you said about it being a by-product of their personality. Good thought-provoking post!