Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Modesty and my almost 9 year old.

A few weeks ago I noticed that my almost 9 year old daughter had started doing these goofy poses with her body where she kind of sticks out her butt. I was not liking this so last night I took her out just the two of us to have a talk about modesty. Things I brought with were a Bible, a People Magazine, and a necklace. I started the conversation talking about some of the things I noticed her doing and that is why I felt it was important to have this talk. I gave her the definition of modesty from the dictionary which states; Modesty: behavior, manner or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency. I then expounded on this definition with the definition of impropriety and indecency. I talked to her about what modesty looks like in each of the three areas stated above and how it pertains to her as a girl. Then I had her open the Bible to 1 Timothy 2:9-10 which says, “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” I’m sure there are other verses that talk about this subject but I choose to go with just this one. We then talked about what this verse says and how to live it out. Then I gave her the People and told her to find 5 people dressed modestly and circle them and find 5 that were not dressed modestly and cross them out. She had so much fun doing this she went way above finding 5 of each. Then we kind of went through the rest and talked about why some of the clothing was not modest. Then I briefly touched on only her husband seeing her naked body didn’t want to go too far into THAT subject just yet. Then I pulled out a mother and daughter matching necklaces and asked her if she was willing to commit to being modest in all these areas. When she did I gave her the necklace to wear. She was so excited. This necklace will be a reminder to her that in all things to be modest. I also told her that she was my daughter but above all things she was God’s daughter and now she knows what her heavenly father says about this subject. When we got home I told her to go take a shower. Before our talk she would forget her towel in another room and walk through the house naked to get it. Last night she made sure she had her towel with her and then wrapped it around her to come ask me a question before she showered. I praised her for being modest. I know she understands the concept so I pray she is able to be successful at continuing to be a modest girl in all areas. I just pray for her so much in this area because she is a really cute and loving girl and I don’t want to squash that but I do want to protect her from any bad people that might take her the wrong way, you know. But for now we are working on modesty mostly in appearance and behavior but manners too.


Angie Vik said...

This was such a timely post for me. I have six daughters, ranging in age from 11 to 24 and I feel like I'm losing the modesty battle. Last night my 15 year old went to a party with other Christian kids wearing IMO a very immodest dress. I've been praying today and seeking wisdom on how to address this topic since my earlier efforts have obviously failed. I put "Modesty" into a search engine and that's how I found your blog.

Thanks for your sharing your thoughts and experience with your daughter.

One thing I have learned is it's never too early to teach your daughters about modesty. I have friends who let their elementary age kids wear things they wouldn't want them to wear if they were in high school, figuring what's the harm since they don't have figures to conceal yet. But if it can become a way of life from the early years, it's a little easier when they get older, especially when they mention that you used to let us wear stuff like this.

Blessings on your family

Happi said...

What a beautiful idea...your daughter will NEVER forget your taking the time to pour into her God's love for her and how important it is for her to remember that she is to be holy, set apart for God's plans for her!

Anyway, just had to comment. HUGS! (When are we getting together again?)


Amber said...

This is a great way of talking about modesty. Thanks for sharing. If I have a girl...I'll have to remember this one.

Kristin said...

What a great mom!!!:)

Kat said...

Oh my. This post just makes me cry.

What a wonderful and beautiful example you are for your daughter. And what a loving mama. I am just so proud of you.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I am bookmarking this page so that I can read it often to be reminded of this when the time comes for me to share it with my little girl. :)


Kari said...

High five! It's never too early to start talking with our girls about these things. I only wish that clothing designers made it a little easier on us moms when it comes to following through. My 10 year-old is getting so tall these days, that finding clothing that "looks" 10 AND that fits her is the ultimate challenge. Good luck to all of us. (sigh)

mikeanddebbie said...

Awesome! Good for you!

Adina said...

Oh, that made my heart melt!!I'm so encouraged when parents take the time to invest in their kids. These are such precious lessons.

hestermom said...

Tonya, thanks for sharing this post. We are getting there with our daughter too. It is such a challenge in this culture, with all the trends. I so appreciate this post, and you sharing this special time you had with your sweet girl. I treasure it.