Update on Me...

After I wrote that post I had a good cry and then I moved on. I started researching and I think I figured out what is truly wrong. I do believe I do have acid reflux but I think it is low stomach acid that is causing my symptoms not high acid levels. I looked up natural way to "cure" reflux and came across a website that suggests several different ways to help. The most popular being 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar in 8oz of water. So I tried it and oh my word was that the NASTIEST thing I have ever tasted. Yuck. While searching online I found a self test to decide whether or not I had to much or too little acid in my stomach. You have to do it in the morning on an empty stomach. So I did it this morning and don't really feel like the results where the best since I had drank the apple cider vinegar yesterday. I am going to try it again tomorrow and see. Basically what you do is take 8 ounces of water and put 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda in it and stir. Then drink it. Then you time to see how long it takes you to burp. If you burp right away you have a high level if you don't burp within 5 minutes you acid level is too low. The reason you need to figure out if you have to much or too little is because the treatment for each is completely different. I really have a feeling that I have too little. It will be interesting to find out what ends up being the case but I really hope it is my road to full health recovery!!!

Self pity party

I sit here completely and utterly discouraged. For the last week I haven't been feeling the greatest and I have been having some pain in my chest that radiates down to my stomach. I kept thinking I slept funny because it would eventually go away during the day and then return at night time. Well this morning I felt like I was going to vomit. I decided instead of taking Peanut to the zoo like I had planned I would cancel my doctor's appointment tomorrow and go today. I will take her to the zoo tomorrow. I wish I never would of went to the doctor. I feel so defeated right now. Instead of walking out of there with a virus that will run it's course (which is what I was hoping for) he said I have acid reflux disease. WHAT? Just when I get my health back on track with the whole mold and start working out. I get diagnosed with a disease. I just can't win. I think my health is going to be a struggle for me until the day I die and that truly scares me because I hate feeling sick and taking care of 4 kids, a husband and running a household. I'm really not wanting people to feel sorry for me because trust me I already feel sorry enough for myself. But I do need to be covered in prayer because I'm not sure I'm strong enough to change my diet yet again. I'm certainly not willing to take the chance on a new drug or an old one for that matter. The side effects on some of those drugs just aren't worth it. I need prayer coverage. Thanks!

My Mom

This weekend we went to my mom's wedding. All four of my kids and myself were apart of the bridal party so that was a lot of fun. I do wish I would of bought the curlers instead of using a curling iron the day of the wedding. I think it would of been a lot less stressful for me. But I will remember that for the future. However, having the curling irons at the wedding was so helpful because my mom's hair had gone flat from the curls she had at the hair salon. The wedding went pretty smoothly just a few little volume/sound issues. I loved seeing all my brothers. I really wish I could see them more, they are so fun to hang out with. But I have to say that my little nephew Jeremiah was one of the bright spots in my day. As I was standing in line greeting everyone he gave me the biggest best hug EVER! Then at the dance reception he was busting a move. The best line of the night goes to him as well. He was dancing then he would point to my grandma (his great grandma) and say "dance" then he pointed to me and said "dance" he pointed to Jamie my brother Kory's fiance and said "dance" then the best line of the night was when he then pointed to Monkey and said "dance dude" It was great! I also got to meet my newest nephew too! Another highlight was dancing with my little Peanut to the song Brown Eyed Girl. I always tell her that is her song because she is the only brown eyed girl in our family. As we were dancing she walked up to the guy singing the song and tells him "this is my song! I've got brown eyes." I love that girl. She was so cute all day. During pictures she was not having a good time but as soon as the photographer would put the camera up and start to count she would snap on a sweet smile. It made everyone watching the pictures crack up. The kids did so great and behaved so well and it was a LONG day for them with really not a whole lot for them to do. The day started at 8am and ended for them at 10pm. Peanut did get a 30 minute nap in the van on the way to the dance reception which I think helped extremely. The next few days are going to go by so fast...tomorrow is the boat with grandma and grandpa M., Tuesday is dentist appointments and orientation at night, Wed is chiropractor appointment and school pictures at JC Penney's and then school starts Thursday. Oh my I'm not so sure I'm ready for this...

Promised

At the beginning of last week I had promised the kids that before summer was over I would take them to the children's museum. Well our sticky situation put a hold on that plan last week. I was bummed, they were bummed but there was nothing else we could of done. Well I am feeling VERY confident that those little critters are GONE so we went today. It happens to be perfect timing since we have been doing a media fast for the kids this week before school starts. It gave them something to do for 3 hours and I didn't have to hear "what can I do?" "why can't we watch tv?" or "I'm so bored since you won't let us do anything" and so on. Now we are sitting at home waiting for dad to get home so we can head out for the weekend. And guess what? They are actually playing a game together and have finally figured out what to do without any screen time. Isn't it amazing. I can hear the angels singing "Hallelujah" because they aren't fighting or being bored. I am one happy mama. I am so glad that I was able to keep that promise. Especially because this morning I wasn't feeling very good but as the day as gone on I feel much better. I just want to try my best to always keep promises I make but I do sometimes fail but I get back up and we move on.

Super Bummed

Tonight has been planned for over a month for Jeff and I to go out on a date. Well with the current state of our house being head lice, though I must say we are doing pretty well kicking it's butt. I had to cancel the sitter and stay home with the girlies. It totally stunk to watch my two boys leave the house with their dad when I should of been the one going. It wouldn't have been a big deal if our dates weren't so spread out. We go on one maybe once ever 2 or 3 months. I so want to change this but I just don't know how. Babysitting is expensive for 4 kids. We do have a few free babysitters but only a few of them are actually willing to watch our kids the others we have to beg and beg and that only works about 50% of the time. It is hard. Period. Anyway I had updated my status on facebook about watching the boys leave on my date with their dad. One of the comments mentioned trade sitting, which we have done once with another family who has 4 kids. Let's just say that watching 8 kids is completely INSANE. Most of our friends have 2 or 3 or 5 kids not many have 4 like us. I will definitely have to work something out with some friends to get this to happen more often with out breaking the bank for a date night = paying a sitter and then whatever we spend on the date. Ok my pity party is over ;)

3 weeks

I am giving myself three weeks to get in shape. I talked to my hubs about how I was feeling out of shape and yucky. He told me to start working out. I told him I needed some sort of motivation and then proceeded to tell him to start calling me fat/chubby. Not a good idea. It did not motivate me AT. ALL. After the 5th time he called me that it started to hurt my feeling, so he stopped. I know I'm such a girl. I asked him to call me that to help motivate me and then when he does what I ask I don't like it. Something in me snapped today and I decided that I am going to do this working out thing and getting into shape. I think it had to do with the fact that I was thinking about how I'm homeschooling Peanut and I need to have some form of gym for her. Well if she needs to be active and move um yeah so do I. Anyway, we even took a picture tonight before we started working out to document what we looked like before. I really hope that after the first 90 days I can see a difference in that picture! I really hope that after the first week I will feel better and have more energy like I did last time I was serious about working out...right before we left for the Bahama cruise. The only funny thing is that summer is almost over and I'm getting into swim suit shape now. Whatevs! I'm also thinking that once school starts once a week walking the track at school and letting Peanut play at the park where I can see her. Or she can walk with me. I'm just really excited to see what the next 3 weeks bring. I can't believe that is all the summer break we have left. In three weeks a lot of things will be changing. I'm so thankful to God for change!

Almost

We are almost half way through this week and will get to be reunited with two of our family members. Come on Saturday get here please!!! In other news I am so sick of going outside and seeing raccoon poop all over my backyard. They have been pooping in the window well but now they are just going all over the place. There is a family of raccoon that live in a vacant house that is owned by a bank on the next street over. They come to my yard because we have the cherry tree and veggie garden. At first I didn't think they were eating any of my veggies I knew they had eaten cherries but yesterday when I went out to water right next to some poop was a half eaten tomato. So annoyed. I looked up animal control and told them my problem they told me to call my local police department which as a police officers wife I knew was not the right thing to do. But I called anyway, yup they can't do anything to help me. They told me to find out who owns the house and bring a civil suit against them, really? Not helpful. I got the name and number of my Alderman from my nice neighbor and gave him a ring. To my surprise he answered the phone and I got to tell him what was going on. He knew about this house and has dealt with issues with this house before. Mainly yard overgrowth. I really don't care how the yard looks I don't want raccoons in my yard at 5pm at night when my kids want to be outside playing because the harsh sunlight has gone down. It isn't safe for them to be in their own back yard. I am just so frustrated at this situation and the last thing I want is for one of the kids to get attacked or step in the poop and bring it in the house. Why do these things always seem to happen when Jeff is gone? UGH

Father's Day and today

We had a wonderful Father's Day yesterday on the boat with my dad, step-mom, sister and brother plus my family. We met at 11:30am and got some food from taco bell, so NOT my first choice but I made the best choice of food I could. Then we headed out on the boat. We tooled around a bit, took the lock (never did that before), docked so the kids could swim and then pulled them on the tube. It was a very peaceful Father's Day but it was also not an uneventful one. While the kids were swimming GG cut her toe on a rock or something in the water and it took awhile to get it to stop bleeding. Oh the drama that went with that. Then on our way back to park the boat we ran out of gas. I had Peanut on my lap napping but all the chaos woke her up pretty quickly. We got to boat to the side of the river and the guy who lived in the house took my dad to get some gas. Then we were on our way. Then we went out to eat dinner with my dad. It was a really great day. Until I got home and had to lay down to sleep. My stomach was NOT happy with me one bit. I tossed and turned for a long time last night not feeling good. I even got up a few times to try and make myself throw up the food I had eaten that was causing me so much tummy pain. It wouldn't come up. I finally fell asleep around 1:45ish. Then this morning the kids and I had a chiropractor appointment, run Monkey to basketball camp, get groceries, pay a bill and un-register Red for he Tae Kwon Do class. He was pretty bummed but it just wasn't at a good time or day for the summer. We are going to sign him up in the fall. Then the kids and I went to nanny this afternoon. I really love this job. The baby is 8 weeks old and he is smiling a lot, so sweet. GlamorGirl loves to hold him and actually says she has first dibs on holding him when we go there. Now I am laying in bed not very hopeful that tonight will be any better as my tummy is still not happy with me. I didn't really eat much today. I had an apple for breakfast, some baby carrots and a granola bar for lunch and a piece of toast for dinner. I am very tired from only sleeping 5 hours last night. If you think of it please pray that I can get a good nights sleep tonight and wake up feeling a 100% better! Thanks

Trip to Grandma's house

First of all it's Father's Day and the father of this house is finally HOME! This past week he took a trip to Canada with his dad to go fishing. While they were gone the kids and I took a quick trip to see my mom and grandparents. We were only able to go Wed thru Friday afternoon due to Monkey's baseball schedule but I think that was plenty of time to break of our time without dad home. Thursday the kids went to a VBS with their Aunt and Uncle (who are both 9 years old) as I was registering Monkey the lady says, "We have another B~ here." Monkey and I looked at each other...this was a new thing for him. He has a unique name and this will probably be the only time he gets to meet another kid with his name. After it was over I asked him if he got to meet the other kid with his name. He said yes. I then asked who was older...just wanted to know. Of course, my guy was older ;) Friday we took the kids to the public pool. While we were there a family that I had babysat in H.S. was there. The mom came up to me. It has been over 12 years since I babysat for them and the girls are now both married and one has two kids. They got to meet my four. They LOVED my kids names...they especially liked Monkey and Peanuts, I think it was because they are a little more unique then the other two. I learned that the two grandkids also have very unique names, so fun. We had a great time visiting with my mom and grandparents and can't wait to go back. I really hope we get to spend a lot of time with my grandparents this summer because neither one of them are doing the greatest health wise and I really want my kids to have memories of their great grandparents. Today for Father's Day we are going on my dad's boat. But it is suppose to rain so I hope that the weather doesn't foil our plans.

Lovin IT

This time of year and the weather being warmer has been so exciting. I have decided that I thrive on being active. I love doing stuff with my kids and planning get togethers with my friends. This is the run down of my last few days. Monday after school to the chiropractor, homework, dinner and baseball practice. Tuesday was Red's birthday so after school was a spontaneous play date at the park with some friends (it was beautiful outside) and then to his birthday dinner. Wednesday we had BIC graduation for the junior highers who completed the course. Monkey also had a game but my step mom graciously took all the kids to it so we could be at the graduation. Thursday was a BIG day. We had Red's party at Chuck E Cheese at noon until 2pm and then right after that we picked up the older kids from school (early) and went to the chiropractor, rushed home and got dinner and off to Monkey's baseball game. Today Peanut had gymnastics this morning and then a field trip at school and then we did a picnic at the park with some friends. I still have to clean up the kitchen from dinner and breakfast but I am waiting for Peanut to fall asleep so I can go downstairs. If I leave before she is asleep she will stay up and we have a meeting at church tonight that will last until 9:30 or so and with all the running she NEEDS to get a nap today.

Just a side note about the birthday dinner for Red. We went to Chilis because the kids eat free on Tuesdays. Jeff and I decided that we were going to have the crew sing happy birthday to him. We have never done this for anyone's birthday before. He was so stinkin cute sitting there with his hands by his face. I don't think he knew what to think.

Happy

Today is GORGEOUS out! It was beautiful yesterday too but today was in the 80's temp wise. Jeff decided to wash both vehicles and I thought it would be a great day to actually clean out the van of all the clutter. I lost the diamond in my wedding ring on March 2nd. We looked everywhere and it was no where. I kept thinking to my self it is probably in the van and I'll find it when I clean the van out. That was the only thing that gave me piece about loosing such an expensive thing. Well within 5 minutes of cleaning out the van I FOUND my diamond. I was in such shock. Jeff had opened the side door on the drivers side to start the cleaning process. I unbuckled Peanut's car seat as I had a feeling the diamond might have fallen off while strapping her in, but it wasn't there. The next place I looked was the drivers side foot mat. I pulled it out carefully and started to inspect it. Sure enough there sat my diamond in one of the groves. I couldn't believe it. I told Jeff I found it and he was like "let me see" because I seriously had only started cleaning the van and done two areas. I had stopped cleaning the van to find a safe place to put the diamond. Jeff thought I was done since I had accomplished my mission of finding my missing diamond! But I did come back out and finish the job. The crazy thing is that I have looked at that mat many times thinking that is where the diamond had to be and each time I didn't see it. I guess the mat had to be brought out into the light. Bringing things into the light is always the way to go even if it isn't the easiest way to go. Now I just have to find a place that will fix the ring for me!!!

Ugh

I didn't get much sleep last night as Peanut woke up in the middle of the night about the same time Jeff got home to use the bathroom. Yes I am very thankful that she got up and went in the potty but then she started yelling, "Daddy can you come wipe me?" He didn't move. So she yelled again. Still nothing so up I went to wipe her little bottom. He worked until 3something am and was dead to the world. I would be too! Then Murphy's law went into affect and the kids woke up before they ever do when it is an actually school day. They didn't get to bed last night until 11pm because of JAM. What is wrong with them? UGH. So I was tired and they got up super early and proceeded to yell and scream and fight with each other until I dragged myself out of bed around 8:30am. Why can I never sleep in? Tomorrow we are going to need to be up and out the door by a certain time and these kids will sleep in and we will be rushing to leave on time. Anyway, I had forgotten that Jeff had to work this morning so it was just me and these hoodlums until about 1pm today. SO thankful it was nice outside and they were able to play outside for a good length of time. I hated the way I was feeling especially towards the kids because really all they were doing was being *ahem* KIDS. Jeff got home and he started putting the kids to work cleaning the house. I decided it was as good a time as any to start our seeds for the garden! Some of the seeds need to be started inside and some can go just into the ground. I am hopeful to get someone out here to till the garden in the next week or so and then I will be able to plant the other seeds. Other than that I really need a new food processor. I have had my eye on a blendtec for quite some time but now I am hearing about the vitamix. I need help which would you buy? The blendtec or the vitamix??? Ok tell me what you think! please :)

A Good Day

Day was an amazingly great day. I woke up with a good attitude and nothing that happened was going to change that. Trust me there were people who tried to gave me little jabs but guess what? It didn't work! I was happy and content yesterday too but only noticed it once it was the end of the day. I love Wednesdays. I go to a woman's Bible study at my friend Melissa's house. We are going through Daniel, such a great book. Then GlamorGirl had a friend over who came with us to church. This little girl is so sweet and the best part is I love the way GG is around her she brings out the good quality of my girl. Her mom is really sweet too. I hope to get to know them better. This morning I woke up and the forecast was 55, I just knew it was going to be a good day. I had more patience with the kids. We laughed more today. We played and enjoyed each other company more. It really is true when mama is happy/content so is the rest of the family. After writing my last post about food I feel such a huge burden was lifted off of me. Like God said, "Here my child let me take that from you." I have not been as tempted as a matter of fact it almost seems like it is easier for me to flee from those sugary treats yesterday and today. I think that also may have to do with my mood, I have been eating better! Let's just say that usually this time of the month I'm not so joyful. Tonight I took my oldest to see Gnomeo and Juliet. It was a really cute movie. She was hoping to see a girl from school there as this girl told her she was going to see it tonight. But instead a different little friend was there, gasp, a BOY. He is in Monkey's class and gets along with both GG and Monkey. His mom and I get along really well too! Well since this post really has no rhyme or reason I will end with this. The day I posted my food struggle I got an email with an award from I am a Woman of God. I feel so honored and not worthy of this award as I don't always talk about God though He is a HUGE part of my life. I am just humbled by this award. Thank you.

Food

Since we have moved into our new house and I had been feeling pretty good for awhile I started to get really lax on the food I bought and made. Well I think it has finally caught up with me because I haven't been feeling good the last few days and I haven't been eating good the last few days. Point in case, Sunday I went to a baby shower and ate bread made with yeast, drank pop, ate some gummy worms, a few brownie bites and had cake. I did try and get some healthy things in there like peppers, salad and a bottle of water but the bad out weighed the good. I also ate coffee cake at church before going. Then Monday I worked in the cafeteria. I had some salad at home waiting for me but things that were completely out of my control interfered with me getting home to eat that food and I ended up eating two pieces of pizza. Then the kids came home with tons of candy. I have lost all will power and ate way more than I should have, causing me not to feel good that night. I also bought Jeff and I each a candy bar of chocolate not smart. I didn't eat the whole thing and I'm going to throw the rest away. Today I determined to eat good. I started out great BUT I took the van to get an oil change and while I waited for my ride I got myself a cup of hot chocolate. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? The thing that really is upsetting to me is that in my daily reading of the Bible I have been reading about food specially what sticks out in my head is the phrase "made without yeast". Make bread without yeast or eat nothing containing yeast. In the last week all the passages I have read have this concept. I know some people think that this is an old testament law that we don't have to follow but as many times as it is written in the Bible I have to stop and think that maybe there is something to this and I should look a little farther at this particular item, not sure you can really call it a food. So I googled yeast and made the connection that is classified in the FUNGI kingdom. It is in the same classification as mold. So God was telling us not to eat yeast/fungi/mold how ever you want to look at it. When I did a quick search of the phrase "without yeast" on Biblegateway it pulled up 26 verses. Yet people don't think that mold can cause harm to our bodies? I am living proof of the harm it can cause. I know other people who have been effected by it as well. God knew we should not eat it and told us several times to make bread without yeast. Of course, there is free will and so there is yeast to be used in making bread but we don't need it. I feel like such a stiff-necked person. Why do I know this stuff and still continue to struggle with it. I hate the way I feel after eating what I KNOW I shouldn't. I need strength in this battle for I am weak. Lord give me the strength to resist the things I should not partake in. I also want to say that I am not judging anyone for eating bread made with yeast this is something that God has revealed to me in my life and I feel I need to obey. This has been an ongoing battle between God and me for at least a week now as I have read His word.

I did it!

I am so excited to say that I finally after years of wanting to go I registered myself for the Hearts at Home conference! I am so excited. I am going with a few girls from church and we are going to have a BLAST because these girls are FUN! I looked over the sessions for the conference and I am really happy with their selection and had a hard time just picking my top 10 :) You know it is a good conference when you want to do it ALL. This is what I am choosing to use my Christmas money on and I think it is a very well use of my money! I will have to let you know how it was once I get back...

We're BACK!

It was amazingly awesome! I loved it. Just for prosperity I want to blog our cruise trip to the Bahamas. The first day Jan 31st we got up super duper early (4am) and got ready for the airport. My dad and step mom came at 4:45am. Roberta stayed with the kids while my dad took us to the airport. We woke the kids up to tell them goodbye, they wanted us too, well except for Peanut we let her sleep. Before our plane took off we called the kids to tell them good morning. We got to the boat at about noon. Us on the bus to the boat!

We ate lunch at the buffet and then went to our rooms. We went with another couple from church who have been on many cruises so they were our guides. We explored the boat, except for Kristy she napped, I was too excited to sleep as I have never been on a boat before and I wanted to see it. We played shuffle board to kill time before dinner and it was actually really fun. Though I was always on the winning team :) The sunset was beautiful and we got a picture with it...

That night I did not feel the greatest. I think the food was not what my body was used to and I was tired from the long day of travel. BUT the food was so yummy. The second day we went to the cruise lines own private beach. It was super nice though the sun kept going behind the clouds and it would be a little cold for swimsuits. Jeff and I got a picture with our feet in the ocean.

Just me in the ocean

The view from our beach chairs
We also found some hammocks to sit in the shade!
Us kissing in the hammock :)
We ate lunch on the island and these were flying so close we could reach our hand up and touch one! Kristy kept screaming when they got too close. Then the guys started feeding them, that's when I exited. They started getting way too close for my comfort!

After we ate we walked around the shops for a little bit and then headed back to the boat for a nap. After the first night of not feeling great because I was tired I decided I should really take a nap. This is us on the tender to get back to our boat. It was so beautiful outside. ALL. THE. TIME.

The guys walked around the boat while the girls slept. That night we went to the show for the boat and it was a comedian who was actually pretty funny! A little crude but not too bad. This is the room where the main entertainment happened.

Then we went to the battle of the sexes in a different room on the boat and I hate to report that the men won. They had so many different activities to do at night that we had to pick and choose. We never did any of the dancing at nights, maybe next time?! The next day (Day 3) we stopped at Nassau, Bahamas and were docked all day long. Jeff and I went parasailing while we were there and it was really quite amazing. Us getting ready to go up...

Us going up and up
Us way up in the sky!

Half way through the ride up there they bring you down and dip your feet in the ocean and then bring you back up high. It was so peaceful up there. This is us right after we came down. Look at our smiles :)

After parasailing we ate lunch just the two of us and then we did our shopping for souvenirs at that port. I also got to lay out at the pool and read my book some more, Kristy and I did this the day before at the beach. This night was my absolute favorite. After the main show, which was a juggler, they did the newlywed game which Jeff and I tried to get on it. And then another game called Quest. That was pretty interesting. We didn't play we just watched. We also did the rock wall before all of that started. No pictures of that though. Then the last day Thursday we cruised all day and night. Since we were on the boat the whole day we just took it easy. After breakfast Kristy and I laid by the pool and read. Then we took a dip in the pool and then read some more. The guys came and got us for lunch. After lunch Kristy took a nap and I went back up to the pool to get some more sun and read. The guys went to see the comedian again, they said he was way worse this time with his jokes. At 4pm we all met and did a flip video scavenger hunt. I am happy to report that we won that scavenger hunt and each got medals. It was actually really fun playing it and then watching it! Then it was the main show, dinner and a little gambling in the casino which I lost all the money I played with :( But it was fun nonetheless and I didn't play with very much money. Then we packed up our bags and went to bed. The next morning it was debarking the boat and heading home. We spent most of our day in the airport. I loved coming home to the kids excited to see us. It took Peanut about an hour after we got home, and the only one who asked, if we got her a present! They all loved the clothes we got them. Here they are all smiling with their new duds. This is also going to have to stand as the first picture of the 4 kids this month!
It was so nice to be away with my husband alone for these last 5 days. I really do enjoy his company. I am thinking we need to make a more conscientious effort to go away together. I highly recommend taking a cruise vacation. It is a great way to travel the world internationally!

Surprise

I just pulled off the biggest surprise of my life with tears streaming down my face. About 6 months ago or longer I started planning a cruise for my husband and I to take. There was a lot of mis-truths that were told to get the husband to take off of work. The biggest regret I have is that the kids thought they were going on a trip too. Basically it went down like this. Hey Jeff my dad wants to take us on a vacation to visit my Aunt in Texas. Can you take some time off? He got the time off and I booked the cruise. We got together with my dad a few times to talk about our trip. I felt like such a LIAR this whole time. Well Sunday night I pulled the two oldest kids aside one by one to tell them what was really going on. I wanted to be able to spend some time with them and not have them wake up the next morning with us gone. I told GG first. She was SAD and Upset about it. I thought oh great this is going to go down badly. A few hours later I told Monkey. He seemed to be fine with it and had a huge smile on his face as I was telling him then he got sad and mad. Great. So I called a family meeting and told everyone as I had tears rolling down my face. The kids were so sad and upset about not going on a trip. Jeff was utterly and completely confused as to what I was saying. He thought I was lying! Now that everyone knows what’s going on they are fine but I am freaking out. I am leaving my babies for 5 days for a vacation. I have never left them that long and we are leaving the country! I pray that this anxiety will leave me and that I will be able to enjoy myself on my very first cruise. I really am excited but also scared. I love those kids with all my being and I really want to see them grow up. Please Lord bring me home to them. And help my not feel anxious while I am away. I know they are in great hands with my mom-in-law and my sis-in-law. Thanks for helping make this work!

Getting In Shape

I have been wanting to get into shape this year and have actually gotten videos at the library and online to work out to. I have do some form of exercise for the last 2 weeks either ever day or every other depending on how sore I was from the day before. (Most of) my friends and family pretty much laugh at me when I tell them I am going to start working out. If you don't know me I am 5'4" and weigh about 105 to 110. The thing they don't realize is that I'm not doing it to loose weight. I'm doing it to tone my body. My husband has been in full support of me and has even told me to buy P90X which is $120 online! I'm not sure if I'm ready to make that big of a commitment yet. But I did go out and buy a yoga mat and 2lbs weights to use. I am thinking of using a bunch of different work out videos from the library until I decide what I really like or what works best for me. The thing that is the most discouraging to me is all the flab that hangs down when I am trying to do push ups, all you moms know what I'm talking about. I try to keep it flat like the videos say to do but being pregnant 4 times does NOT lend well to tight skin! My only saving grace is that this summer when I have the kids at the pool I won't be in a push up positing while in a swimming suit!!!

My kids...

So lately I have realized that I haven't been enjoying my kids as much as I should be. Once I realized this things have gotten a lot better. I have been able to really listen to the things they are saying and boy are they funny little people! Some funny things that have come out of Peanut's mouth lately are as she stepped on a scale to weigh herself she says, "I'm 3 dollars!" Or she looked at the clock and says, "mommy it's 8 o'clock." when it is nowhere near that time but it is always 8 o'clock in her world! The other thing she did that just made me giggle was when she was playing with a balloon and watching her jump to hit it. I never want to forget those moments. Red has always been one of my harder kids as he doesn't like to obey and therefore teaching his youngest sister the errors of his way. But with even that I am able to enjoy listening to him read his homework as we snuggle on the couch. I love listening to him talk about things he has done or things he is going to do...like going to a birthday party on Saturday. I really need to arrange a date with my oldest son sometime soon. I get to spend the least amount of time with him and his older sister with them at school all day. GlamorGirl and I went on a date last night. Her birthday is on Monday and we are having a party for her on Sunday. We went and got her a dress for said party. We went to the mall and tried on so many dresses at a ton of different stores. We also ended up finding Peanut an Easter dress for a really good price! My time with GG was just so pleasant. I loved how she choose her dress too. She had found 3 dresses that she liked two where 29.99 and the other was 23.99 I told her she could get any of them. She choose the cheaper because she said it was "a better way to spend money". She is growing up so fast before my eyes. She had me laughing so hard trying on some of those dresses. I just wish I would of brought my camera! Just want to add this is the first year EVER that I have gone out and bought her a nice fancy dress for her birthday. But she is turning 10 and I thought it would be a fun activity for her and I together. We stopped for a shake from Mikey D's on the way home because we were both thirsty. I was going to get a drink at the mall but they only took cash and well I never have cash. We decided instead of walking around the mall for somewhere else we would just find something on the way home. On the way home she told me how special she felt by getting to spend this time with me. Which is way I really need to take Monkey on a date soon! I have one on one time with the two little kids almost every day. Here is a picture of the dress she got and the same color :)
She looks so cute in it too! I will have to get a picture of her actually in it to post :)

Ahhh

Sleeping kids is the best feeling in the world! For some reason I feel really stressed out today. These days are going by so fast and I feel like I'm not getting done has much as I'd like and then I have a shorter temper with the kids. I hate it. I think I have too high of expectations for my kids. I expect them to think through what they are doing and know if it is a good idea or a bad idea. For example: I gave Red a stack of Peanut's school papers because I needed to go pick her up because she wasn't obeying me. We get in the van and he takes those papers and puts them on the floor and then processes to WALK on them with his WET shoes. Seriously! I know they are just papers but why would you do that?!? Is that asking to much out of my almost 6 year old to think papers shouldn't go on the floor? I told him if he didn't know what to do with them he should of asked me. Why is that so hard for my kids to ask those questions when they don't know what to do? Instead they just do whatever they want. I think I just need to remember that they aren't adults and are learning but it is so hard when I KNOW I have told them this stuff at least once before.